So, some of you are probably wondering why I'm alowing such sophmoric comments on my blog.
It's to show how adolecent "the community" is in it's orientation and thinking.
There are some very powerful ideas floating around regarding seduction on the internet. Unfortunately, they are oftent the product of feeble minded chauvanism, both on the part of females (the "rules") and males ( Way of the "alpha male")
A sure sign of this is when a guy accuses another of being gay or closeted.
These same guys like to divide women into madonnas and whores. They are not at all integrated sexually, and there identity is bound up in what they percieve as "correct" gender roles.
This is to be expected I suppose - gender roles have been in flux over the ast 40 years, and a backlash against femenism and the wimpification of men was inevitable I suppose.
The problem is, it's gone too far. I was banned from mASF for advocating what amounts to love as the basis for an ethical approach to mutual seduction between the sexes:
Acceptance
Compassion
Empathy
Detachment
It's all well and good to give men back thier masculine power. It needed to be stripped away for a time as punishment for it's excesses and the resulting oppression and abuses it generated. Femenisim went to far too.
Now, as the sexes seek a balanced center, the extremes of both movements are laid bare.
Niether sex is superior to the other. Each has a biological destiny that guides it's emotional life. Niether should be denegrated, rather, both should be accepted, embraced, and celebrated. Empathy is the key to understanding, and compassion the act of engaging these differences in a positive way.
Detachment kills needy supplicating behavior for both sexes - the willingness to walk away from bad people, bad encounters, and bad relationships without the HATE, ANGER, disapointment and frustation that most of us feel when we don't get what we want from others emotionally.
Aced represents mature, agape love. I feel that this is the best basis for relating to other human beings. Lust and romantic love are a rush - but they ultimately leave s in a bad state if not tempered with more mature states of relating to others.
I'll never post another "lay report" or divulge when I've had sex with a new woman, or for that matter, how many women I've had sex with publicly. That sort of thing should be kept private, and only revealed to those it matters to - my sexual partners.
I do not regret my involvement with the seduction community - on the contray - it opened my eyes to some very profound and basic truths about human behavior. Once you master seduction however ( and every man should seek to master it, just as every woman should) you are confronted with some very deep ethical delimas. Each person must live with the consequences of his actions - all I'm advocating is that we take the effect our actions have on others very seriously.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Difficult Girl Part 2
OK, here's part 2...
Her:
"He's sooo cute that I just cannot get over with.
We had soooo much in common, and with him, I felt warm and secure.
It took me a LONG time move on.
Hot BJ is not as good as hot water + ice BJ:p"
Me:
Well, at least we are on the same page with that...
Her:
No matter how drunk I am, I still remember all the things I did. The best sex I had was when I was stoned.
Me:
lol...when you are stoned it's hard to remember stuff too...
Her:
Even me and him cannot agree on ALL the politically issues. But still, I like him a lot! And he is NOT a retard. He's very successful, smart, fun, sweet, loving and caring, traditional family oriented, has strict morality. I respect that.
Me:
Me too. At least we agree that morals are important - especially for a man.
Her:
You have several GFs. Do they each have several BFs?
Me:
Some do, some don't. All are free to choose thier sexual partners without judgement from me. I love all the women in my life - even you....
Note - I'm offering her acceptance now
Her:
I do know where babies come from. But there are differences between the planned/wanted babies and unplanned/unwanted/oops/surprise babies. No one wish for abortions and STDs.
She is QUALIFYING herself
Me:
The voice of experience talking. I don't know about you, but I always use condoms. Never had an STD or an unwanted pregnancy. Sex without condoms is disgusting - like fucking a public toilet.
I'm setting boundries - She has had an unwanted pregnancy, and probably an STD or two also...
Her
That's sad. When you really love someone, you can't see anyone else around you. All you can see is that one person.
This another attempt at re-framing on her part
Me:
What's sad is jealousy and insecurity. The need to own someone is selfish and childish. When you love people the way I do, you don't try to restrain the fee expression of their sexuality. Some women need multiple guys. I'm a guy who is happiest with multiple women. The funny thing is, they respect my honesty, and that I don't lie about my lifestyles or desires.
This is clear statement of my morals and values
Her:
LOL~ I AM nice to my BF's family. His brother came last week, and he liked me:) Just I'm worried that his mom might be one of those red neck McCain fans.
Btw, my BF is one who keeps asking "r u mine" or saying "u r mine", not me. But...I like it.
Note the contradiction - she chooses a BF with opposing political views. She is a minority, and his political views tend to oppress her people. She likes this tension, and is trying to control it. Note also the depth of supplication of her "needy nice guy" boyfriend...things will end badly for him....
Me:
Sure you like it - it gives that big fat ego of yours a boost. He is supplicating to you - kissing your ass. But the guy who really turns you on is the gay motorcycle racer. He wont kiss your ass, he has options with other men sexually, and so he presents the ultimate challenge to your womanhood.
Well, I'm just plain fucking with her here....remember - never take women seriously. This paragraph subcommunicates to her that I think she is a silly girl =)I'm also blatantly "amogging" the "hot" guy she keeps talking about
Here's my advice:
Manipulate the plain, moral, wimpy nice guy until he proposes marriage, and then have a bunch of babies with him. Remember, you are not getting any younger. He will never leave you, and will make a good father and provider.
LOL...now I'm simply calling her on her bullshit...indirectly of course...
When you loose attraction for him (after the inital infatuation wears of in about 18 months) have an affair with the hot gay racer guy who gives you great orgasms, and have another unplanned pregnancy by him. Don't tell your hubby, and you get to spread your genes across two males.
The gay racer won't make a good father, so simply tell hubby the baby is his.
It's called "Cuckholding" and human females do it all the time to nice guy husbands. It's actually quite beneficial for our species and creates genetic diversity. Between 10% and 20% of all siblings are only 1/2 siblings according to random DNA testing.
Note, this whole part was meant to elict a strong emotional response from her. It also communicates that I empathise with her biological condition. Just wait till you see how she responds.. =)
Her:
How's work and everything?
Me:
Ahhhh, work is boring. Sex is much more interesting
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Next Exchange:
Me:
... and so he presents the ultimate challenge to your womanhood.
Her:
Y r u keep saying that he's gay? U think so? Did you ask him out or did he ask you out? Did you guys hav sex? TELL ME~!!!!! How did you find out that he's gay????????????
She is obsessed with the idea of two men having sex...I have smoked out a deep, dark fantasy of hers now...more later =)
Me:
Manipulate the plain......(he) will make a good father and provider.
Her:
I'm sure he will b the best father. Manipulating is WRONG!
Me:
When you loose attraction for him .....spread your genes across two males.
Her:
I'm sure our honey moon will last longer than that.
Btw, I have orgasms w my BF almost every time; but 0 from (hot guy)
(Hot guy) is like a wild horse, unpredictable and uncontrollable.
Me:
The gay racer won't make a good father, so simply tell hubby the baby is his.
Her:
(Hot guy) will never make a good father/hubby/BF.
See? She is in agreement with the meta frame I set. Women KNOW this dichotomy exists between "lover" and "provider". She desires the hot guy's genes, but needs the nice guy's resources....
Me:
It's called "Cuckholding" ....
Her:
That is not called the "Cuckholding"
Cuckholding
When a couple (typically a husband and wife) pick up another man, then the husband watches as the other man cums inside his wife then eats the cum from out of the womans vagina. (typically the couple are white while the other man is black)
Joe and Shannon brought Bernard home for a long night of Cuckholding .
Ok Gentlemen. What is she doing here? Think about it, I'll wait....
OK,...got it?
She is telling me her sexual fantasy - to have a supplicating male at home that will take care of her children and eat the sperm of a dominant man straight out of her pussy, and not just tolerate it, but enjoy it!....
hahahha...maybe she's not so vanilla after all....
She must have spent quite some time on-line doing research to find THAT definition of "Cuckholding" bwahahahahahaa....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Her:
I'm sure he will b the best father. Manipulating is WRONG!
Me:
Yea, then why do you wear sexy clothing? To manipulate a man's libido so you can have sex with him. Nothing wrong with that.
Her:
Btw, I have orgasms w my BF almost every time; but 0 from (hot guy):(
Me:
That's because he has a small penis. He is very ashamed of it.
Her:
(hot guy)is like a wild horse, unpredictable and uncontrollable.
Me:
I know, right?
The gay racer won't make a good father, so simply tell hubby the baby is his.
Her:
(Hot guy) will never make a good father/hubby/BF.
Me:
Correct.
Her:
Cuckholding
When a couple ....other man cums inside his wife then eats the cum from out of the womans vagina....
Me:
That's some hardcore stuff you are into there.....but the real definition is different:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckold
Again, agreement, then reframing "That's some hardcore stuff you are into" -
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
More of her gay male fantasies follow...
Her:
When did I tell you that (hot guy is gay)?
I never say anything. I think he's straight. U r the one who said he's gay. What make you think that he's gay? You'd NEVER answer my Q!
Huh?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me:
You just told me....
Mis-direction and reframing. This girl is ALWAYS talking about gay guys, and accusing, suspecting or teasing various men she is attracted to of being gay. It is both a test for the men, and a sexual obsession of hers....thus when I said "you just told me (her hot x bf is gay)" it forces her to go into her subconcious to make sense out of my partial, ambiguous commnuncation. This is where her sex drive lives - but she is conciously unaware of her male homosexual fantasies - they are too taboo and strong for her concious mind, threatening to overwhelm her carefully constructed sexual and social persona, so it stays underground - but still finds expression in her "anti" gay musinging.... =)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hahahaha...wait for it.....
Her:
When did I tell you that?
I never say anything. I think he's straight. U r the one who said he's gay. What make you think that he's gay? You'd NEVER answer my Q!
Me:
You are really obsessed with male homosexuality.
It must be a secret fantasy of yours to watch two guys french kiss passionately, while slowly running thier strong hands over each others firm naked buttocks. The blonde guy then starts slowly licking the head of the asian guy's little pink penis, as pre-cum leaks out uncontrollably.
He quickly inserts a finger into his rectum and slowly strokes his prostate. 1 finger, then 2, 3 and 4. Can he get his whole fist in this time?
Too late!
Suddenly, a huge flood of semen sprays from his cock...he cums so much that it leaks out of his mouth and down his smooth, muscular chest.
He then licks up the cum and feeds back to his lover.....
etc, etc, etc....
Is this what you imagine when you mastrubate with "Mr. Buzzy" your pink vibrating dildo?
Be honest...it's OK if you do.
I'll still accept you as a person and a friend no matter how sick, twisted, and depraved your sexual desires are. Actually, it makes you more interesting - vanilla sex sucks.
=)
Lol.... Again, this is a super hot young girl who is sexually repressed, but horny as hell. She likes drama and games. The key is to control the frame. Most guys are afraid to go sexual - I'm the opposite - I've figured out what her fantasy is, then developed a narrative that will arouse her - all playfully....and in an ACCEPTING way...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Her:
y r u avoiding my questions?
Me:
Do you think about hot gay man sex while you masturbate with Mr. Buzzy? As orgasm after orgasm racks your body with wave after wave of twiching, spasmotic pleasure?
Answer the question you kinky little bitch......
=)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Her:
It's NOT cool u never answer my questions:(
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me:
I had sex last night with one of these girls. Guess wich one:
(photos of me with 10 different women I'm dating or sleeping with at the moment followed)
Analysis
This shows how females - especially this "type" (young, hot, horny, and repressed) process male sexuality, while blinded to thier own. It's really quite facinanting. I'll not divulge how intimate I've been with her in the past, because that's not important. What IS important is how her communications reveal her sexual desires, and also the path to seducing (or re-seducing) her. Women will always tell you "how" to arouse them, though often not conciously. She is sending out so many signals.....they appear to be "mixed" and they require you to properly interpret them.... I've been playing with this girl for a long time....and she always comes back for more....She does this because she finds me challenging, and can't quite pigeonhole me as a lover or provider, straight or gay or even bi. I switch from pacing her reality, to leading it, to disagreeing with it, to throwing outrageous sexual statements at her. A girl like this NEEDS to be kept off balance - she is used to being in total control of men, and it's not EXCITING. That's why the relationship with the "needy nice guy" is ultimately doomed. He's safe, but BORING...
=)
Her:
"He's sooo cute that I just cannot get over with.
We had soooo much in common, and with him, I felt warm and secure.
It took me a LONG time move on.
Hot BJ is not as good as hot water + ice BJ:p"
Me:
Well, at least we are on the same page with that...
Her:
No matter how drunk I am, I still remember all the things I did. The best sex I had was when I was stoned.
Me:
lol...when you are stoned it's hard to remember stuff too...
Her:
Even me and him cannot agree on ALL the politically issues. But still, I like him a lot! And he is NOT a retard. He's very successful, smart, fun, sweet, loving and caring, traditional family oriented, has strict morality. I respect that.
Me:
Me too. At least we agree that morals are important - especially for a man.
Her:
You have several GFs. Do they each have several BFs?
Me:
Some do, some don't. All are free to choose thier sexual partners without judgement from me. I love all the women in my life - even you....
Note - I'm offering her acceptance now
Her:
I do know where babies come from. But there are differences between the planned/wanted babies and unplanned/unwanted/oops/surprise babies. No one wish for abortions and STDs.
She is QUALIFYING herself
Me:
The voice of experience talking. I don't know about you, but I always use condoms. Never had an STD or an unwanted pregnancy. Sex without condoms is disgusting - like fucking a public toilet.
I'm setting boundries - She has had an unwanted pregnancy, and probably an STD or two also...
Her
That's sad. When you really love someone, you can't see anyone else around you. All you can see is that one person.
This another attempt at re-framing on her part
Me:
What's sad is jealousy and insecurity. The need to own someone is selfish and childish. When you love people the way I do, you don't try to restrain the fee expression of their sexuality. Some women need multiple guys. I'm a guy who is happiest with multiple women. The funny thing is, they respect my honesty, and that I don't lie about my lifestyles or desires.
This is clear statement of my morals and values
Her:
LOL~ I AM nice to my BF's family. His brother came last week, and he liked me:) Just I'm worried that his mom might be one of those red neck McCain fans.
Btw, my BF is one who keeps asking "r u mine" or saying "u r mine", not me. But...I like it.
Note the contradiction - she chooses a BF with opposing political views. She is a minority, and his political views tend to oppress her people. She likes this tension, and is trying to control it. Note also the depth of supplication of her "needy nice guy" boyfriend...things will end badly for him....
Me:
Sure you like it - it gives that big fat ego of yours a boost. He is supplicating to you - kissing your ass. But the guy who really turns you on is the gay motorcycle racer. He wont kiss your ass, he has options with other men sexually, and so he presents the ultimate challenge to your womanhood.
Well, I'm just plain fucking with her here....remember - never take women seriously. This paragraph subcommunicates to her that I think she is a silly girl =)I'm also blatantly "amogging" the "hot" guy she keeps talking about
Here's my advice:
Manipulate the plain, moral, wimpy nice guy until he proposes marriage, and then have a bunch of babies with him. Remember, you are not getting any younger. He will never leave you, and will make a good father and provider.
LOL...now I'm simply calling her on her bullshit...indirectly of course...
When you loose attraction for him (after the inital infatuation wears of in about 18 months) have an affair with the hot gay racer guy who gives you great orgasms, and have another unplanned pregnancy by him. Don't tell your hubby, and you get to spread your genes across two males.
The gay racer won't make a good father, so simply tell hubby the baby is his.
It's called "Cuckholding" and human females do it all the time to nice guy husbands. It's actually quite beneficial for our species and creates genetic diversity. Between 10% and 20% of all siblings are only 1/2 siblings according to random DNA testing.
Note, this whole part was meant to elict a strong emotional response from her. It also communicates that I empathise with her biological condition. Just wait till you see how she responds.. =)
Her:
How's work and everything?
Me:
Ahhhh, work is boring. Sex is much more interesting
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Next Exchange:
Me:
... and so he presents the ultimate challenge to your womanhood.
Her:
Y r u keep saying that he's gay? U think so? Did you ask him out or did he ask you out? Did you guys hav sex? TELL ME~!!!!! How did you find out that he's gay????????????
She is obsessed with the idea of two men having sex...I have smoked out a deep, dark fantasy of hers now...more later =)
Me:
Manipulate the plain......(he) will make a good father and provider.
Her:
I'm sure he will b the best father. Manipulating is WRONG!
Me:
When you loose attraction for him .....spread your genes across two males.
Her:
I'm sure our honey moon will last longer than that.
Btw, I have orgasms w my BF almost every time; but 0 from (hot guy)
(Hot guy) is like a wild horse, unpredictable and uncontrollable.
Me:
The gay racer won't make a good father, so simply tell hubby the baby is his.
Her:
(Hot guy) will never make a good father/hubby/BF.
See? She is in agreement with the meta frame I set. Women KNOW this dichotomy exists between "lover" and "provider". She desires the hot guy's genes, but needs the nice guy's resources....
Me:
It's called "Cuckholding" ....
Her:
That is not called the "Cuckholding"
Cuckholding
When a couple (typically a husband and wife) pick up another man, then the husband watches as the other man cums inside his wife then eats the cum from out of the womans vagina. (typically the couple are white while the other man is black)
Joe and Shannon brought Bernard home for a long night of Cuckholding .
Ok Gentlemen. What is she doing here? Think about it, I'll wait....
OK,...got it?
She is telling me her sexual fantasy - to have a supplicating male at home that will take care of her children and eat the sperm of a dominant man straight out of her pussy, and not just tolerate it, but enjoy it!....
hahahha...maybe she's not so vanilla after all....
She must have spent quite some time on-line doing research to find THAT definition of "Cuckholding" bwahahahahahaa....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Her:
I'm sure he will b the best father. Manipulating is WRONG!
Me:
Yea, then why do you wear sexy clothing? To manipulate a man's libido so you can have sex with him. Nothing wrong with that.
Her:
Btw, I have orgasms w my BF almost every time; but 0 from (hot guy):(
Me:
That's because he has a small penis. He is very ashamed of it.
Her:
(hot guy)is like a wild horse, unpredictable and uncontrollable.
Me:
I know, right?
The gay racer won't make a good father, so simply tell hubby the baby is his.
Her:
(Hot guy) will never make a good father/hubby/BF.
Me:
Correct.
Her:
Cuckholding
When a couple ....other man cums inside his wife then eats the cum from out of the womans vagina....
Me:
That's some hardcore stuff you are into there.....but the real definition is different:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckold
Again, agreement, then reframing "That's some hardcore stuff you are into" -
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
More of her gay male fantasies follow...
Her:
When did I tell you that (hot guy is gay)?
I never say anything. I think he's straight. U r the one who said he's gay. What make you think that he's gay? You'd NEVER answer my Q!
Huh?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me:
You just told me....
Mis-direction and reframing. This girl is ALWAYS talking about gay guys, and accusing, suspecting or teasing various men she is attracted to of being gay. It is both a test for the men, and a sexual obsession of hers....thus when I said "you just told me (her hot x bf is gay)" it forces her to go into her subconcious to make sense out of my partial, ambiguous commnuncation. This is where her sex drive lives - but she is conciously unaware of her male homosexual fantasies - they are too taboo and strong for her concious mind, threatening to overwhelm her carefully constructed sexual and social persona, so it stays underground - but still finds expression in her "anti" gay musinging.... =)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hahahaha...wait for it.....
Her:
When did I tell you that?
I never say anything. I think he's straight. U r the one who said he's gay. What make you think that he's gay? You'd NEVER answer my Q!
Me:
You are really obsessed with male homosexuality.
It must be a secret fantasy of yours to watch two guys french kiss passionately, while slowly running thier strong hands over each others firm naked buttocks. The blonde guy then starts slowly licking the head of the asian guy's little pink penis, as pre-cum leaks out uncontrollably.
He quickly inserts a finger into his rectum and slowly strokes his prostate. 1 finger, then 2, 3 and 4. Can he get his whole fist in this time?
Too late!
Suddenly, a huge flood of semen sprays from his cock...he cums so much that it leaks out of his mouth and down his smooth, muscular chest.
He then licks up the cum and feeds back to his lover.....
etc, etc, etc....
Is this what you imagine when you mastrubate with "Mr. Buzzy" your pink vibrating dildo?
Be honest...it's OK if you do.
I'll still accept you as a person and a friend no matter how sick, twisted, and depraved your sexual desires are. Actually, it makes you more interesting - vanilla sex sucks.
=)
Lol.... Again, this is a super hot young girl who is sexually repressed, but horny as hell. She likes drama and games. The key is to control the frame. Most guys are afraid to go sexual - I'm the opposite - I've figured out what her fantasy is, then developed a narrative that will arouse her - all playfully....and in an ACCEPTING way...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Her:
y r u avoiding my questions?
Me:
Do you think about hot gay man sex while you masturbate with Mr. Buzzy? As orgasm after orgasm racks your body with wave after wave of twiching, spasmotic pleasure?
Answer the question you kinky little bitch......
=)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Her:
It's NOT cool u never answer my questions:(
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me:
I had sex last night with one of these girls. Guess wich one:
(photos of me with 10 different women I'm dating or sleeping with at the moment followed)
Analysis
This shows how females - especially this "type" (young, hot, horny, and repressed) process male sexuality, while blinded to thier own. It's really quite facinanting. I'll not divulge how intimate I've been with her in the past, because that's not important. What IS important is how her communications reveal her sexual desires, and also the path to seducing (or re-seducing) her. Women will always tell you "how" to arouse them, though often not conciously. She is sending out so many signals.....they appear to be "mixed" and they require you to properly interpret them.... I've been playing with this girl for a long time....and she always comes back for more....She does this because she finds me challenging, and can't quite pigeonhole me as a lover or provider, straight or gay or even bi. I switch from pacing her reality, to leading it, to disagreeing with it, to throwing outrageous sexual statements at her. A girl like this NEEDS to be kept off balance - she is used to being in total control of men, and it's not EXCITING. That's why the relationship with the "needy nice guy" is ultimately doomed. He's safe, but BORING...
=)
Friday, November 14, 2008
Dealing with Challenging Women (Part 1)
The following is an e-mail exchange I had recently with one of my more difficult girlfriends:
She started the exchange with a e-mail about a "Boat and Breakfast":
http://www.boatandbed.com/index.html
Please feel free to email me if you have any questions.
Thank you!
Best,
(Difficult Girl)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me:
Are you asking me out on a date?
;-)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Haha, you wish?
I actually meeting my BF's parents for dinner next week:)
Best,
(Difficult Girl)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me:
Which one?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
what do u mean which one?
the one and only:)
he's not the hottest or best looking, but he's definitely the sweetest, the cutest!
Please feel free to email me if you have any questions.
Thank you!
Best,
(Difficult Girl)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me:
lol...see...
You have at least two others:
The hottest...
and
The best looking... well, I know I'm super good looking, but I'm much hotter than "good looking", and I'm sure as hell not "sweet" or "cute"...
We should hang out again sometime soon...great gourmet shop around the corner...I've been cooking a lot for my girlfriends lately...one's on her way over right now...
=)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LOL~
Mr. hottest and Mr. best looking are the same person, the one you met at my birthday dinner:)
Ha! My bf's cooking / making sandwich all the time:)
We should all get together for dinner some time:)
We usually have family dinner on Sunday night. Pasta and wine plus Dexter. You should bring your GF.
I'm soooo nervous about meeting his mom~
Please feel free to email me if you have any questions.
Thank you!
Best,
(Difficult Girl)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Her: LOL~
Mr. hottest and Mr. best looking are the same person, the one you met at my birthday dinner:)
Me: Yea, but I though he was gay?
Her: Ha! My bf's cooking / making sandwich all the time:)
Me: That's woman’s work... I buy the food, the bitch cooks it...that's just how I roll...
Her: We should all get together for dinner some time:)
Me: Last time I did that, I ended up having a 3 way with the guy and his girlfriend. I was fun! I know you are pretty adventurous, but what about your guy?
Her: We usually have family dinner on Sunday night. Pasta and wine plus Dexter. You should bring your GF.
Me: Which one? The Vietnamese model, The Persian girl, The Swedish girl, The French one, the Croat, one of the Americans, or all of them?
(Just how adventurous are you anyway?)
Her: I'm soooo nervous about meeting his mom~
Me: Hahahahaha.....why?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Her:
What makes you think that he's gay?
Did he checked you out? Did he ask you out?
I know there are guys came out of the closet because of him.
He's SOOOOOOOOOOOO HOT! And VERY masculine.
He's really fast when it come to driving.
Whenever we go out, ppl check him out ALL THE TIME!
Ha! My bf's cooking / making sandwich all the time:)
Me:
That's woman’s work... I buy the food, the bitch cooks it...that's just how I roll...
Her:
Cooking is ABSOLUTELY NOT A WOMAN'S WORK~!
My sweetie bought the food, and he cooks.
Btw, Majority of the cooks are male in case you don't know.
And your GF is NOT your maid~!
IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE/KEEP YOUR GF HAPPY EVERYDAY~!
I didn't know that you are part of the butt plug club.
Don't even think about it.
1. I'm not as "adventurous" as you think.
2. My sweetie was raised in Catholic school, he's super conservative, he votes for McCain, and "YES" on 8.
3. I thought you have a GF.
We usually have family dinner on Sunday night. Pasta and wine plus Dexter. You should bring your GF.
Me:
Which one? The Vietnamese model, The Persian girl, The Swedish girl, The French one, the Croat, one of the Americans, or all of them?
(Just how adventurous are you anyway?)
You are terrible.
Just like my BF's roommate.
Male whore.
One day, you will fall in love with a girl, sooo in love that you will give up everything for her, and I hope she will dump you, so that you will finally learn something about karma.
(FYI, I'm NOT adventurous AT ALL with others).
I'm soooo nervous about meeting his mom~
Hahahahaha.....why?
Errrrrrrrrrrr... Hello? Coz I'm meeting his mom for the 1st time!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me:
hahaha...you are so egotistical.... You remind me of douchebag guys who drive Ferraris and date hot chicks just to show off. Get over yourself...
:-P
Her:
IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE/KEEP YOUR GF HAPPY EVERYDAY~!
Me:
Hey, as long as you give me hot blowjobs on demand (no teeth either!), no problem. I also like my shirts ironed and folded, and lightly starched. The kids better be clean and well fed when I get home too.
Her:
I didn't know that you are part of the butt plug club.
Butt plugs are fun! But what I really like are strapon dildos.....unfortunately, very few women know how to properly fuck a guy with one. It requires strong hips and proper rhythm and timing to get me off.
Her:
Don't even think about it.
1. I'm not as "adventurous" as you think.
Me:
Oh, I know are not adventurous - you are like a church mouse when it comes to sex...timid, and full of shame and hang ups about your body. Very judgmental too. I'll bet it's easier for you when you're drunk though....Be honest - that's when you have the best sex - trouble is you cant remember what you did the next day...
=)
Her:
2. My sweetie was raised in Catholic school, he's super conservative, he votes for McCain, and "YES" on 8.
Me:
You didn't tell me you were dating a retard. That gives you one point in the plus column in my book. Compassion for retards is important. Just remember - there is no god, McCain is an erratic, mean old man, and gays should be able to see how hellish marriage is for themselves.
Her:
3. I thought you have a GF.
Me:
I have several. You have a problem with that?
Her:
You are terrible.
Me:
Why?
Her:
Just like my BF's roommate.
Male whore.
Me:
That's not a very nice thing to say. You do know where babies come from right?
Her:
One day, you will fall in love with a girl, sooo in love that you will give up everything for her, and I hope she will dump you, so that you will finally learn something about karma.
Me:
I love all my girlfriends, even the difficult ones like you. They all know about each other - look at my facebook page. Some have sex with me, some are just friends. We all care about each other very much. Romantic love is a mental disease however - it's the worst reason to do anything, much less "give up everything".
I have no respect for women who demand that from men. They are leeches. A women has to contribute as much as I do or more.
That's just how I roll.....
Her:
Errrrrrrrrrrr... Hello? Coz I'm meeting his mom for the 1st time!
Me:
So? Just be yourself......
Wait, no don't do that....try to be nice, generous, and non judgmental. Drop your egoism and try to connect with her as a human being...not some hurdle to overcome on your quest to exclusively own your boyfriend's cock, balls, and resources in holy matrimony....
Good Luck!
lol.....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Her:
Lol.
He's sooo cute that I just cannot get over with.
We had soooo much in common, and with him, I felt warm and secure.
It took me a LONG time move on.
Hot BJ is not as good as hot water + ice BJ:p
So you do like to be plugged. Reverse role play? EWWWWWWWWWWWW~
No matter how drunk I am, I still remember all the things I did. The best sex I had was when I was stoned.
Even me and him cannot agree on ALL the politically issues. But still, I like him a lot! And he is NOT a retard. He's very successful, smart, fun, sweet, loving and caring, traditional family oriented, has strict morality. I respect that.
You have several GFs. Do they each have several BFs?
I do know where babies come from. But there are differences between the planned/wanted babies and unplanned/unwanted/oops/surprise babies. No one wish for abortions and STDs.
That's sad. When you really love someone, you can't see anyone else around you. All you can see is that one person.
LOL~ I AM nice to my BF's family. His brother came last week, and he liked me:) Just I'm worried that his mom might be one of those red neck McCain fans.
Btw, my BF is one who keeps asking "r u mine" or saying "u r mine", not me. But...I like it.
How's work and everything?
(Difficult girl)
ANALYSIS
Note how I deal with her challenges. She brings up her "BF" in an attempt to establish herself as the prize in the interaction, and to manipulate me into supplicating or pursuing her. She is a very beautiful girl, with a lot of male attention. Women do this instictually - don't get angry or hurt - use it to your advantage. She is actually subcommunitcating that she wants me to chase her - that she see me as desireable. Remeber that it is a trap she is setting, and that she is not even aware of it.
I redirect the meaning of her communication with selective mis-interpretations of her words, and by changing the subject. This puts her on the defensive - and in the end, she spends a long time qualifying herself and her motives. You will rarely have sex with women who do not qualify themselves. You need to set frames where they are foreced to qualify themselves of end the interaction.
Note that she constatly tests the frames I establish by implying or stating that I'm a "Whore" or that I'm "Terrible" or even "Gay" Note how I re-direct that negative energy back at her in a playful way.
Dont get angry - this is how many women become sexually aroused - through game playing.
She started the exchange with a e-mail about a "Boat and Breakfast":
http://www.boatandbed.com/index.html
Please feel free to email me if you have any questions.
Thank you!
Best,
(Difficult Girl)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me:
Are you asking me out on a date?
;-)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Haha, you wish?
I actually meeting my BF's parents for dinner next week:)
Best,
(Difficult Girl)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me:
Which one?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
what do u mean which one?
the one and only:)
he's not the hottest or best looking, but he's definitely the sweetest, the cutest!
Please feel free to email me if you have any questions.
Thank you!
Best,
(Difficult Girl)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me:
lol...see...
You have at least two others:
The hottest...
and
The best looking... well, I know I'm super good looking, but I'm much hotter than "good looking", and I'm sure as hell not "sweet" or "cute"...
We should hang out again sometime soon...great gourmet shop around the corner...I've been cooking a lot for my girlfriends lately...one's on her way over right now...
=)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LOL~
Mr. hottest and Mr. best looking are the same person, the one you met at my birthday dinner:)
Ha! My bf's cooking / making sandwich all the time:)
We should all get together for dinner some time:)
We usually have family dinner on Sunday night. Pasta and wine plus Dexter. You should bring your GF.
I'm soooo nervous about meeting his mom~
Please feel free to email me if you have any questions.
Thank you!
Best,
(Difficult Girl)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Her: LOL~
Mr. hottest and Mr. best looking are the same person, the one you met at my birthday dinner:)
Me: Yea, but I though he was gay?
Her: Ha! My bf's cooking / making sandwich all the time:)
Me: That's woman’s work... I buy the food, the bitch cooks it...that's just how I roll...
Her: We should all get together for dinner some time:)
Me: Last time I did that, I ended up having a 3 way with the guy and his girlfriend. I was fun! I know you are pretty adventurous, but what about your guy?
Her: We usually have family dinner on Sunday night. Pasta and wine plus Dexter. You should bring your GF.
Me: Which one? The Vietnamese model, The Persian girl, The Swedish girl, The French one, the Croat, one of the Americans, or all of them?
(Just how adventurous are you anyway?)
Her: I'm soooo nervous about meeting his mom~
Me: Hahahahaha.....why?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Her:
What makes you think that he's gay?
Did he checked you out? Did he ask you out?
I know there are guys came out of the closet because of him.
He's SOOOOOOOOOOOO HOT! And VERY masculine.
He's really fast when it come to driving.
Whenever we go out, ppl check him out ALL THE TIME!
Ha! My bf's cooking / making sandwich all the time:)
Me:
That's woman’s work... I buy the food, the bitch cooks it...that's just how I roll...
Her:
Cooking is ABSOLUTELY NOT A WOMAN'S WORK~!
My sweetie bought the food, and he cooks.
Btw, Majority of the cooks are male in case you don't know.
And your GF is NOT your maid~!
IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE/KEEP YOUR GF HAPPY EVERYDAY~!
I didn't know that you are part of the butt plug club.
Don't even think about it.
1. I'm not as "adventurous" as you think.
2. My sweetie was raised in Catholic school, he's super conservative, he votes for McCain, and "YES" on 8.
3. I thought you have a GF.
We usually have family dinner on Sunday night. Pasta and wine plus Dexter. You should bring your GF.
Me:
Which one? The Vietnamese model, The Persian girl, The Swedish girl, The French one, the Croat, one of the Americans, or all of them?
(Just how adventurous are you anyway?)
You are terrible.
Just like my BF's roommate.
Male whore.
One day, you will fall in love with a girl, sooo in love that you will give up everything for her, and I hope she will dump you, so that you will finally learn something about karma.
(FYI, I'm NOT adventurous AT ALL with others).
I'm soooo nervous about meeting his mom~
Hahahahaha.....why?
Errrrrrrrrrrr... Hello? Coz I'm meeting his mom for the 1st time!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me:
hahaha...you are so egotistical.... You remind me of douchebag guys who drive Ferraris and date hot chicks just to show off. Get over yourself...
:-P
Her:
IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE/KEEP YOUR GF HAPPY EVERYDAY~!
Me:
Hey, as long as you give me hot blowjobs on demand (no teeth either!), no problem. I also like my shirts ironed and folded, and lightly starched. The kids better be clean and well fed when I get home too.
Her:
I didn't know that you are part of the butt plug club.
Butt plugs are fun! But what I really like are strapon dildos.....unfortunately, very few women know how to properly fuck a guy with one. It requires strong hips and proper rhythm and timing to get me off.
Her:
Don't even think about it.
1. I'm not as "adventurous" as you think.
Me:
Oh, I know are not adventurous - you are like a church mouse when it comes to sex...timid, and full of shame and hang ups about your body. Very judgmental too. I'll bet it's easier for you when you're drunk though....Be honest - that's when you have the best sex - trouble is you cant remember what you did the next day...
=)
Her:
2. My sweetie was raised in Catholic school, he's super conservative, he votes for McCain, and "YES" on 8.
Me:
You didn't tell me you were dating a retard. That gives you one point in the plus column in my book. Compassion for retards is important. Just remember - there is no god, McCain is an erratic, mean old man, and gays should be able to see how hellish marriage is for themselves.
Her:
3. I thought you have a GF.
Me:
I have several. You have a problem with that?
Her:
You are terrible.
Me:
Why?
Her:
Just like my BF's roommate.
Male whore.
Me:
That's not a very nice thing to say. You do know where babies come from right?
Her:
One day, you will fall in love with a girl, sooo in love that you will give up everything for her, and I hope she will dump you, so that you will finally learn something about karma.
Me:
I love all my girlfriends, even the difficult ones like you. They all know about each other - look at my facebook page. Some have sex with me, some are just friends. We all care about each other very much. Romantic love is a mental disease however - it's the worst reason to do anything, much less "give up everything".
I have no respect for women who demand that from men. They are leeches. A women has to contribute as much as I do or more.
That's just how I roll.....
Her:
Errrrrrrrrrrr... Hello? Coz I'm meeting his mom for the 1st time!
Me:
So? Just be yourself......
Wait, no don't do that....try to be nice, generous, and non judgmental. Drop your egoism and try to connect with her as a human being...not some hurdle to overcome on your quest to exclusively own your boyfriend's cock, balls, and resources in holy matrimony....
Good Luck!
lol.....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Her:
Lol.
He's sooo cute that I just cannot get over with.
We had soooo much in common, and with him, I felt warm and secure.
It took me a LONG time move on.
Hot BJ is not as good as hot water + ice BJ:p
So you do like to be plugged. Reverse role play? EWWWWWWWWWWWW~
No matter how drunk I am, I still remember all the things I did. The best sex I had was when I was stoned.
Even me and him cannot agree on ALL the politically issues. But still, I like him a lot! And he is NOT a retard. He's very successful, smart, fun, sweet, loving and caring, traditional family oriented, has strict morality. I respect that.
You have several GFs. Do they each have several BFs?
I do know where babies come from. But there are differences between the planned/wanted babies and unplanned/unwanted/oops/surprise babies. No one wish for abortions and STDs.
That's sad. When you really love someone, you can't see anyone else around you. All you can see is that one person.
LOL~ I AM nice to my BF's family. His brother came last week, and he liked me:) Just I'm worried that his mom might be one of those red neck McCain fans.
Btw, my BF is one who keeps asking "r u mine" or saying "u r mine", not me. But...I like it.
How's work and everything?
(Difficult girl)
ANALYSIS
Note how I deal with her challenges. She brings up her "BF" in an attempt to establish herself as the prize in the interaction, and to manipulate me into supplicating or pursuing her. She is a very beautiful girl, with a lot of male attention. Women do this instictually - don't get angry or hurt - use it to your advantage. She is actually subcommunitcating that she wants me to chase her - that she see me as desireable. Remeber that it is a trap she is setting, and that she is not even aware of it.
I redirect the meaning of her communication with selective mis-interpretations of her words, and by changing the subject. This puts her on the defensive - and in the end, she spends a long time qualifying herself and her motives. You will rarely have sex with women who do not qualify themselves. You need to set frames where they are foreced to qualify themselves of end the interaction.
Note that she constatly tests the frames I establish by implying or stating that I'm a "Whore" or that I'm "Terrible" or even "Gay" Note how I re-direct that negative energy back at her in a playful way.
Dont get angry - this is how many women become sexually aroused - through game playing.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
The importance of having hobbies
Here is another area where I have a big problem with the whole seduction community. All they talk about, obsessively, is sex and women.
Well, guess what? Guys need to have more than that going on if they want to enjoy the company of quality women. They need to be well rounded individuals who are actually interesting to be around. I have several hobbies and sports I engage in - things that I enjoy for thier own sake - like photography and video editing:
The slide show here in the side bar shows some of my other interests, interests that I share with women I find attractive. It's a great screening tool for men too. If she is not interested in what you are interested in, why go to the trouble of seducing her?
You will both have a miserable time together. Sure, sex is fun and all, but really, it's a very small part of even a casual relationship.
;-)
Well, guess what? Guys need to have more than that going on if they want to enjoy the company of quality women. They need to be well rounded individuals who are actually interesting to be around. I have several hobbies and sports I engage in - things that I enjoy for thier own sake - like photography and video editing:
The slide show here in the side bar shows some of my other interests, interests that I share with women I find attractive. It's a great screening tool for men too. If she is not interested in what you are interested in, why go to the trouble of seducing her?
You will both have a miserable time together. Sure, sex is fun and all, but really, it's a very small part of even a casual relationship.
;-)
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Women, The Id, The Ego, The Super Ego, and Ethics
Who would have thought, I'd become the voice of ethics within the seduction community?
First, I'll define terms.
Id: Unconscious instincts and emotional drives - The sex drive comes from here.
Ego: The "Self" or sense of self. Literally "I" Consciousness, experience, and thought.
Super Ego: The unconscious judge. Punishes the Ego for violating moral and ethical rules. Creates anxiety and self doubt.
The Seduction Community was founded by a bunch of amoral semi-psychopathic nerds who leveraged the internet for it's parallel processing capabilities. Lacking and rejecting true empathy or compassion for others, especially women, they relied on their Ids and Egos to systematically study and develop sets of social stratagems and tactics that exploit vulnerable aspects of female psychology centering on emotions.
These tactics are highly effective for purposes of seduction. These guys became masters at the social and emotional manipulation of females. Their tactics operate largely at the unconscious level of the female Id. These guys also unfortunately had woefully underdeveloped Super Egos.
I do not personally have a problem with the manipulative aspect of what they discovered, and codified anymore than I have a problem with females reading fashion magazines, and then wearing high heels, short dresses or push-up bras to manipulate the male Id.
The problem with the community's lack of ethics is a practical one:
Generally speaking, females do not have strong Super-Egos.
Freud was aware of this, and wrote about it in "The Ego and the Id" (1923) and in "Civilization and Its Discontents" (1930) . His theory was that women, not suffering from Oedipal conflict in the way that men do, develop weak Super Egos.
This was of course eventually challenged by feminism, one of the great utopian ideologies of the 20th century. The idea that women lacked morals to the extent that men do on a fundamental level was unpalatable politically, and Freud's theories were discredited, replaced by Behaviorism and other hair-brained notions of environmental determinism, notions that stated that humans were "Tabla Rasa" at birth, and all cognitive imprinting cultural.
Simply put, feminism states that boys behave like boys because that is how they are raised, and girls behave like girls for similar reasons. Reverse the stimulus, and boys will enjoy tea parties, and girls guns.
There are reasons to doubt this hypothosis, and little evidence to support it, but it was politically expedient, and so became conventional wisdom.
- Stephen Pinker gives a good talk about the blinding consequences of such speculative, politically driven cultural theories in his talk "Chalking it up to the Blank Slate" (The first 5 minutes or so tell the story):
So, if we accept that humans are not blank slates at birth, and that there are gender differences between the emotional/cognitive strategies of our species, strategies that evolved for a variety of environmental and reproductive reasons, then Freudian psychological modeling provides one way to attempt understanding these differences as they manifest behaviorally.
For Instance:
Any guy with much experience in bars or nightclubs, or for that matter in any public place, has noticed that when he is accompanied by a woman, he receives more attention from other females in that setting. This attention takes the form of flirting and other indicators of sexual interest.
The Seduction community chalks this up to the idea of "Social Proof", but this only partly explains the dynamic. Certainly men accompanied by other men are seen by females as more desirable than "lone wolves" in social settings, but the highest form of "social proof" comes from other females.
But is it truly social proof that is at work here, or sexual selection? I believe that the answer comes from the distinct make-up of the typical female ego, which is shaped by her unconscious Id, and weak Super Ego. If a woman can gain the sexual attention of a man who is already with another woman, this creates a conscious sense of validation for her ego. She does not egage in such behavior consciously, it is instinctual.
The lack of a strong Super Ego as counter weight to her Id allows her ego to ignore the fact that the male is with another woman. It simply "feels good" to flirt with the "taken" man.
The Seduction Community uses this fact to lethal effect.
A "Pivot" is a female who accompanies a man socially simply to trigger this sort of female behavior, and pivots make the work of a male seeking sexual companionship much easier.
However, there is a flipside for females to this instinct:
Jealousy.
This is one reason why the Seduction Community recomends not having sex with women who serve them as pivots.
If you are a female in a public place with your mate, you instinctively know that you have raised his mating value significantly in the eyes of other females. Thus, if he entertains the attentions of other females, you feel betrayed - you feel a loss of "trust" in him.
But what is the mechanism for this loss of trust? Why is this the way the instinct manifests itself?
Why is it directed at the man?
I believe that women also instinctually know that they lack absolute ethics, morals, and a sense of honor, especially when it comes to mating competition. Because of this, they project these feeling onto other females, and assume they lack morals too. There is a certain amout of forgiveness that comes with this projection in some females, others become "catty" and openly attack thier sexual competition, either indirectly through social networks and gossip, or directly through verbal or even physical means.
This excites some males, witness the prevalence of female "wrestling" videos and pronography.
Lacking the sense of absolute morals provided by a strong Super Ego, they also instinctively seek an "alpha" male's strong Super Ego to balance their weaker one.
When her man hints at letting his monagamous morals slip, especially if he has assumed a beta "provider" role with her, she feels a double sense of betrayal and loss - She is losing the competition with other females, and the man she relied on to set boundaries for her is not doing his job.
Thus strong ethics are an "Alpha" quality, a quality conditioned by a strong masculine Super Ego. A man's ethical behavior is the most obvious expression of the strength of his Super Ego, and thus indicative of his "Alphaness"
The male Super Ego also has negative aspects, aspects that women are constantly struggling against. The Super Ego allows men to detach emotionally, and is thus antithical to the Id, and also to emotional connection, something that women seek with men, but rarely find. In fact, when they do find it, they are often sexually repulsed by it, because instinctively she knows that this reflects a weak Super Ego on his part, one out of balance with his Id.
His ethics are thus suspect - and clear ethical boundaries are the very thing she finds comforting and sexual about strong males.
The Super Ego has another, even darker side:
If it is overdeveloped, it can be cruel and heartless - sadistic even. This may be one reason that dominance from a mate is sought by many females - especially those with low self esteem. This lack of self esteem manifests as a desire for punishment, punishment that her own weak Super Ego is incapable of providing for her Ego.
Thus, many females seek to be the object of a strong male Super Ego to balance the stronger pull of their Id. Many men seek "feminine" (Low Self Esteem) women with strong Ids and weak Super Egos to balance their own emotional detachment.
In the end, both sexes find themselves in cognitive and emotional double binds. Mainstream psychology attempts to mediate compromise between these drives and instincts with harmony the goal.
I believe that harmony is the wrong objective - rather recognition and celebration of these emotional tensions should be the goal - as such tensions lead to, dare I say it?
Great Sex.
=)
When men abdicate their ethical duties in relationships, they are abandoning the very thing that sets up a proper dynamic for mating. If left to the women, ethics will be defined relative to her changing emotional states, not the absolute, benevolent dictatorship of a strong, balanced male Super Ego.
Is this bad?
Is this true?
I don't know, but it goes a long way towards explaining female social behavior, and answering Freud’s unanswerable question:
"What do Women want?"
First, I'll define terms.
Id: Unconscious instincts and emotional drives - The sex drive comes from here.
Ego: The "Self" or sense of self. Literally "I" Consciousness, experience, and thought.
Super Ego: The unconscious judge. Punishes the Ego for violating moral and ethical rules. Creates anxiety and self doubt.
The Seduction Community was founded by a bunch of amoral semi-psychopathic nerds who leveraged the internet for it's parallel processing capabilities. Lacking and rejecting true empathy or compassion for others, especially women, they relied on their Ids and Egos to systematically study and develop sets of social stratagems and tactics that exploit vulnerable aspects of female psychology centering on emotions.
These tactics are highly effective for purposes of seduction. These guys became masters at the social and emotional manipulation of females. Their tactics operate largely at the unconscious level of the female Id. These guys also unfortunately had woefully underdeveloped Super Egos.
I do not personally have a problem with the manipulative aspect of what they discovered, and codified anymore than I have a problem with females reading fashion magazines, and then wearing high heels, short dresses or push-up bras to manipulate the male Id.
The problem with the community's lack of ethics is a practical one:
Generally speaking, females do not have strong Super-Egos.
Freud was aware of this, and wrote about it in "The Ego and the Id" (1923) and in "Civilization and Its Discontents" (1930) . His theory was that women, not suffering from Oedipal conflict in the way that men do, develop weak Super Egos.
This was of course eventually challenged by feminism, one of the great utopian ideologies of the 20th century. The idea that women lacked morals to the extent that men do on a fundamental level was unpalatable politically, and Freud's theories were discredited, replaced by Behaviorism and other hair-brained notions of environmental determinism, notions that stated that humans were "Tabla Rasa" at birth, and all cognitive imprinting cultural.
Simply put, feminism states that boys behave like boys because that is how they are raised, and girls behave like girls for similar reasons. Reverse the stimulus, and boys will enjoy tea parties, and girls guns.
There are reasons to doubt this hypothosis, and little evidence to support it, but it was politically expedient, and so became conventional wisdom.
- Stephen Pinker gives a good talk about the blinding consequences of such speculative, politically driven cultural theories in his talk "Chalking it up to the Blank Slate" (The first 5 minutes or so tell the story):
So, if we accept that humans are not blank slates at birth, and that there are gender differences between the emotional/cognitive strategies of our species, strategies that evolved for a variety of environmental and reproductive reasons, then Freudian psychological modeling provides one way to attempt understanding these differences as they manifest behaviorally.
For Instance:
Any guy with much experience in bars or nightclubs, or for that matter in any public place, has noticed that when he is accompanied by a woman, he receives more attention from other females in that setting. This attention takes the form of flirting and other indicators of sexual interest.
The Seduction community chalks this up to the idea of "Social Proof", but this only partly explains the dynamic. Certainly men accompanied by other men are seen by females as more desirable than "lone wolves" in social settings, but the highest form of "social proof" comes from other females.
But is it truly social proof that is at work here, or sexual selection? I believe that the answer comes from the distinct make-up of the typical female ego, which is shaped by her unconscious Id, and weak Super Ego. If a woman can gain the sexual attention of a man who is already with another woman, this creates a conscious sense of validation for her ego. She does not egage in such behavior consciously, it is instinctual.
The lack of a strong Super Ego as counter weight to her Id allows her ego to ignore the fact that the male is with another woman. It simply "feels good" to flirt with the "taken" man.
The Seduction Community uses this fact to lethal effect.
A "Pivot" is a female who accompanies a man socially simply to trigger this sort of female behavior, and pivots make the work of a male seeking sexual companionship much easier.
However, there is a flipside for females to this instinct:
Jealousy.
This is one reason why the Seduction Community recomends not having sex with women who serve them as pivots.
If you are a female in a public place with your mate, you instinctively know that you have raised his mating value significantly in the eyes of other females. Thus, if he entertains the attentions of other females, you feel betrayed - you feel a loss of "trust" in him.
But what is the mechanism for this loss of trust? Why is this the way the instinct manifests itself?
Why is it directed at the man?
I believe that women also instinctually know that they lack absolute ethics, morals, and a sense of honor, especially when it comes to mating competition. Because of this, they project these feeling onto other females, and assume they lack morals too. There is a certain amout of forgiveness that comes with this projection in some females, others become "catty" and openly attack thier sexual competition, either indirectly through social networks and gossip, or directly through verbal or even physical means.
This excites some males, witness the prevalence of female "wrestling" videos and pronography.
Lacking the sense of absolute morals provided by a strong Super Ego, they also instinctively seek an "alpha" male's strong Super Ego to balance their weaker one.
When her man hints at letting his monagamous morals slip, especially if he has assumed a beta "provider" role with her, she feels a double sense of betrayal and loss - She is losing the competition with other females, and the man she relied on to set boundaries for her is not doing his job.
Thus strong ethics are an "Alpha" quality, a quality conditioned by a strong masculine Super Ego. A man's ethical behavior is the most obvious expression of the strength of his Super Ego, and thus indicative of his "Alphaness"
The male Super Ego also has negative aspects, aspects that women are constantly struggling against. The Super Ego allows men to detach emotionally, and is thus antithical to the Id, and also to emotional connection, something that women seek with men, but rarely find. In fact, when they do find it, they are often sexually repulsed by it, because instinctively she knows that this reflects a weak Super Ego on his part, one out of balance with his Id.
His ethics are thus suspect - and clear ethical boundaries are the very thing she finds comforting and sexual about strong males.
The Super Ego has another, even darker side:
If it is overdeveloped, it can be cruel and heartless - sadistic even. This may be one reason that dominance from a mate is sought by many females - especially those with low self esteem. This lack of self esteem manifests as a desire for punishment, punishment that her own weak Super Ego is incapable of providing for her Ego.
Thus, many females seek to be the object of a strong male Super Ego to balance the stronger pull of their Id. Many men seek "feminine" (Low Self Esteem) women with strong Ids and weak Super Egos to balance their own emotional detachment.
In the end, both sexes find themselves in cognitive and emotional double binds. Mainstream psychology attempts to mediate compromise between these drives and instincts with harmony the goal.
I believe that harmony is the wrong objective - rather recognition and celebration of these emotional tensions should be the goal - as such tensions lead to, dare I say it?
Great Sex.
=)
When men abdicate their ethical duties in relationships, they are abandoning the very thing that sets up a proper dynamic for mating. If left to the women, ethics will be defined relative to her changing emotional states, not the absolute, benevolent dictatorship of a strong, balanced male Super Ego.
Is this bad?
Is this true?
I don't know, but it goes a long way towards explaining female social behavior, and answering Freud’s unanswerable question:
"What do Women want?"
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Morals and Ethics - Who should set them - Men or Women?
This may be the most controversial topic I've yet addressed:
Who is better suited to set ethics - men or women? The following video states my position:
I believe that women depend on men to set firm ethical boundaries.
I was playing a card game with two women just the other night. It was a new game to me. They found it simply delightful that I didn't know the rules, and took advantage of that fact at every turn. They also changed the rules occasionally.
Most men would not do this - it goes against masculine instincts of fair play. Even the most brutal male sports like Mixed Martial Arts have rules. Mike Tyson was vilified for biting the ear off his opponent in boxing. Even in all out war, including gang wars and the Mafia there are codes of honor and rules.
The women I was with were not "bad" or "evil" women. They were typical. They are both long term friends of mine. You can probably think of similar examples in your own life, and the literature is full of examples of this sort of female behavior.
Look at what happens in divorces and child custody cases.
Women do not have a set of absolute ethics the way men do. Their ethics are relative, and subject to their emotional moods. For instance, women frequently try to "steal" boyfriends and even husbands from each other. Seducers know this and use this fact to their advantage - for instance, putting a married woman in the proper emotional state will allow a skilled seducer to have sex with her (If you do not believe this, you have not studied seduction or done enough field work).
Emotionally determined ethics are what allow this to take place.
"If it feels right, it's OK"
We see this at work also in the way women seek men who have women with them in social settings. To get a guy who already has a girlfriend is emotionally compelling for most heterosexual women. It validates their attractiveness.
Most men on the other hand will not seduce the wife or girlfriend of a close friend, no matter how attractive or seductive she is out of a sense of honor and fair play. Other men's women from outside their social circle might be seen as fair game, but most men still have a very tough time going after "taken" women. One of the most common excuses I hear from guys in the field for refusing to approach a woman is that "She probably has a boyfriend"
Men assume that women have the same set of ethical boundaries regarding sex as they do, but by and large, they do not.
What sort of society would we have if MEN did not establish and set ethical boundaries? - a good one, a bad one, neutral, simply different, or would it be the same?
The seduction community is "amoral" and advocates no ethics, and I find this extremely troubling.
Ethics go to the core identity and beliefs that males have about themselves, and their interactions with women. It has huge implications for everything from individual sarges to family structures on up to entire societies.
Feminism claims that we would have a perfect, utopian society if women were in charge of ethics. There would be no war, and a loving, non-competitive social structures.
...I'm not so sure....
Note that I am not promoting any particular ethical position. I'm simply pointing out that either men will set up ethical structures, or in their absence, women will.
What will the consequences be if men don't do it?
Who is better suited to set ethics - men or women? The following video states my position:
I believe that women depend on men to set firm ethical boundaries.
I was playing a card game with two women just the other night. It was a new game to me. They found it simply delightful that I didn't know the rules, and took advantage of that fact at every turn. They also changed the rules occasionally.
Most men would not do this - it goes against masculine instincts of fair play. Even the most brutal male sports like Mixed Martial Arts have rules. Mike Tyson was vilified for biting the ear off his opponent in boxing. Even in all out war, including gang wars and the Mafia there are codes of honor and rules.
The women I was with were not "bad" or "evil" women. They were typical. They are both long term friends of mine. You can probably think of similar examples in your own life, and the literature is full of examples of this sort of female behavior.
Look at what happens in divorces and child custody cases.
Women do not have a set of absolute ethics the way men do. Their ethics are relative, and subject to their emotional moods. For instance, women frequently try to "steal" boyfriends and even husbands from each other. Seducers know this and use this fact to their advantage - for instance, putting a married woman in the proper emotional state will allow a skilled seducer to have sex with her (If you do not believe this, you have not studied seduction or done enough field work).
Emotionally determined ethics are what allow this to take place.
"If it feels right, it's OK"
We see this at work also in the way women seek men who have women with them in social settings. To get a guy who already has a girlfriend is emotionally compelling for most heterosexual women. It validates their attractiveness.
Most men on the other hand will not seduce the wife or girlfriend of a close friend, no matter how attractive or seductive she is out of a sense of honor and fair play. Other men's women from outside their social circle might be seen as fair game, but most men still have a very tough time going after "taken" women. One of the most common excuses I hear from guys in the field for refusing to approach a woman is that "She probably has a boyfriend"
Men assume that women have the same set of ethical boundaries regarding sex as they do, but by and large, they do not.
What sort of society would we have if MEN did not establish and set ethical boundaries? - a good one, a bad one, neutral, simply different, or would it be the same?
The seduction community is "amoral" and advocates no ethics, and I find this extremely troubling.
Ethics go to the core identity and beliefs that males have about themselves, and their interactions with women. It has huge implications for everything from individual sarges to family structures on up to entire societies.
Feminism claims that we would have a perfect, utopian society if women were in charge of ethics. There would be no war, and a loving, non-competitive social structures.
...I'm not so sure....
Note that I am not promoting any particular ethical position. I'm simply pointing out that either men will set up ethical structures, or in their absence, women will.
What will the consequences be if men don't do it?
Sunday, October 26, 2008
More debate about ethics and the seduction community
Below is a response to a client email taking me to task for promoting Acceptance, Compassion, Empathy, and Detachment on one of the seduction communitiy's message boards.
In it, I ask my client a series of questions about his values:
Me:
> 1) Are you ashamed that you study Pick-up and Seduction? Do you keep it
> secret? Does your family know about it? Your friends? The women you are
> close to?
Client:
not really, but i don't consider myself a pick-up artist. i
definitely share with people that i study human interaction, which is
more accurate as i've been reading about psychology and sociology
since i was a kid and majored in psychology in college, and mASF is
one small recent part of that. i've talked to everyne from chicks to
friends to my mom (who's a devout catholic, and actually agrees with
most everything i've said regarding meeting and interacting with
girls, i just leave out the sex when talking to her. she thinks modern
men are weak and is relieved to know that i don't think that way).
Me:
So sex is shameful? Why? Can you talk to your father openly about it? My mother is catholic, and we talk about sex....not explicitly of course, but we don't shy away from the topic - she knows about my lifestyle and ideas regarding women...I am not ashamed of anything I do socially, or the fact that I am sexual.
Client
but i do feel there's something inherantly lame in a person calling
themselves a pick-up artist.
Me:
Lol...yes
Client:
that shows that they define themselves
by their ability to pick up chicks, which is lame to a lot of people
because it's so outcome dependent, and dependent on CHICKS no less.
that's lame.
Me:
yup. Same with lables like "gay" and and "Bi" and "Fem" and "Emo" - things I'm currently being called on the boards....all while I lead a vibrant and open social and sex life with women...
Client:
just like salesmen are regarded by many as inherantly
lame. i define myself as an artist, .... whether or not i have a chick
around means absolutely nothing to my self worth or self definition.
Me:
You have DETACHMENT. Women generaly dislike men who are needy or clingy. They respect men with ambition and a sense of purpose and direction in thier lives.
Me:
> 2) If you are ashamed, ask yourself why....what is shameful about the
> community and what it teaches?
>
> 3) Ask yourself how and if my approach differes, if you do indeed sense that
> something is "not quite right" about the whole seduction community and it's
> approach to socialization.
Client:
i like the idea of "check your ethics at the door and let's figure
this shit out." that is pure science and how progress is made. are
some of the guys off? of course. you want ethics though? go to
church! the LAST thing dudes need on mASF is another holier than thou
motherfucker PREACHING ETHICS to them while they're trying to learn
how to get laid, esp when the rules of the board clearly state "no
ethics." dude the greeks figured out its best to check your ethics
1000s of years ago.
Me:
You just brought up ethics, not me. But since you did....
=)
Client:
also, you're "sensing" something "isn't right." that's chick shit
dude. women's intuition.
Me
"Chick shit"? another perjorative label....I love women, and don't consider what they do "shit" - eapecially thier cognitive starategies and emotional make-up. It may occassionaly be disfunctional or counter productive to happieness and well being, but then men have disfunctional cognitive strategies and beliefs too.
Do you think you are perfectly rational?
Men have no intuition? Intuition should not be trusted? You never have "gut" feelings? You don't take them into consideration when making decisions?
I believe the human mind is like a monkey (conciousness) riding an elephant (the unconcious). If the elphant really wants to go somewhere, it's going, and the monkey is just along for the ride.
Look at the stock market - that's run by MEN. You think it's RATIONAL?
Football, mountain climbing, mixed martial arts.
What about MUSIC?...lol....
Men are just as emotional as women, we delude ourselves into thinking we are not. Denial of our emotional make-up is weakness. It is the source of much unhappieness and pain and disfunction.
Client:
....acting on feelings. most of mASF is based
on raw scientific research without judgment.
Me:
"raw scientific research"?
c'mon...what we do at best rises to level of amature social anthropology. There are no formal studies, no control groups, and no peer reviewed journals.
True scientists would laugh at our methods - what we do is guided much more by intuition, hunches, feeling, and sensing than by cold hard logic. It must be - human beings are fluid and unpredictable creatures.
Client:
it even follows the
scientific method in having an idea, putting together a procedure that
tests it, putting that procedure to action in the field, and
summarizing the results. after being tested successful several times
in the field by different dudes, it becomes theory. thats what dudes
come to mASF for. not ethics. .
Me:
Eventualy all social, medical, and even physical science must confront ethics.
Ever hear of the hypocratic oath? Why do doctors make a vow to "First, do no harm"?
It goes back 2500 years to the Greeks.
Client:
now you ask yourself, why do you need to be mr. ethics on the mASF
board? what are YOU trying to prove? have you slipped into defining
yourself as a pick-up GURU and now need your angle? are ethics REALLY
the only place you're able to bring something new to the community?
could it be theres a hole there because EVERYONE ELSE CHECKS THEIR
ETHICS AT THE DOOR as is stated in the rules?
Me:
What are rules? Who made them? Why were they made? Are we allowed to question rules?
The very lack of ethics in the community constitutes an ethic. I'm simply questioning the form the ethics of community take, and thier utility for promoting happiness.
What is your meta purpose in studying seduction?
The guys I coach think that "getting pussy" is going to solve all thier problems and make them happy. Guess what?
It wont, at least not in and of itself. They are deluded in the same way lottery winners think money will solve all thier problems. The truth is sobering - but it's where I start with my clients, because what I promote is well being - sex is a part of that, but it is not sufficient to create it.
Nothing external is.
The thing is, once you reach a state of inner well being, sex will happen naturally and organically for you. You will no longer need "game" or status or any other external trappings. This is what I mean by Acceptance - you must have self acceptance before you can offer acceptance to others. It's actually selfish in that sense in that it operateson the principal of reciprocal altruism.
Client:
you know what happens when you color everything with ethics? you
become like every other religious fool that becomes absolutely
impossible to discuss and debate with. try having a rational
discussion about pro-life/pro-choice with a religious person. you
can't. you go to science, they go to ethics (the bible), and the
debate can't even begin! guess what? that's YOU right now on masf!
Me:
What interests me as that none of the masterminds have a cogent response to the points I'm making about historic seducers - both positive ones like Gahndi, and negative ones like Manson.
What exactly is the difference between them? They all use the same tactics like hypnosis, frame control, and dominance to impose thier will on others - to get others to follow them and do thier bidding.
What is the difference
Think about it....
In it, I ask my client a series of questions about his values:
Me:
> 1) Are you ashamed that you study Pick-up and Seduction? Do you keep it
> secret? Does your family know about it? Your friends? The women you are
> close to?
Client:
not really, but i don't consider myself a pick-up artist. i
definitely share with people that i study human interaction, which is
more accurate as i've been reading about psychology and sociology
since i was a kid and majored in psychology in college, and mASF is
one small recent part of that. i've talked to everyne from chicks to
friends to my mom (who's a devout catholic, and actually agrees with
most everything i've said regarding meeting and interacting with
girls, i just leave out the sex when talking to her. she thinks modern
men are weak and is relieved to know that i don't think that way).
Me:
So sex is shameful? Why? Can you talk to your father openly about it? My mother is catholic, and we talk about sex....not explicitly of course, but we don't shy away from the topic - she knows about my lifestyle and ideas regarding women...I am not ashamed of anything I do socially, or the fact that I am sexual.
Client
but i do feel there's something inherantly lame in a person calling
themselves a pick-up artist.
Me:
Lol...yes
Client:
that shows that they define themselves
by their ability to pick up chicks, which is lame to a lot of people
because it's so outcome dependent, and dependent on CHICKS no less.
that's lame.
Me:
yup. Same with lables like "gay" and and "Bi" and "Fem" and "Emo" - things I'm currently being called on the boards....all while I lead a vibrant and open social and sex life with women...
Client:
just like salesmen are regarded by many as inherantly
lame. i define myself as an artist, .... whether or not i have a chick
around means absolutely nothing to my self worth or self definition.
Me:
You have DETACHMENT. Women generaly dislike men who are needy or clingy. They respect men with ambition and a sense of purpose and direction in thier lives.
Me:
> 2) If you are ashamed, ask yourself why....what is shameful about the
> community and what it teaches?
>
> 3) Ask yourself how and if my approach differes, if you do indeed sense that
> something is "not quite right" about the whole seduction community and it's
> approach to socialization.
Client:
i like the idea of "check your ethics at the door and let's figure
this shit out." that is pure science and how progress is made. are
some of the guys off? of course. you want ethics though? go to
church! the LAST thing dudes need on mASF is another holier than thou
motherfucker PREACHING ETHICS to them while they're trying to learn
how to get laid, esp when the rules of the board clearly state "no
ethics." dude the greeks figured out its best to check your ethics
1000s of years ago.
Me:
You just brought up ethics, not me. But since you did....
=)
Client:
also, you're "sensing" something "isn't right." that's chick shit
dude. women's intuition.
Me
"Chick shit"? another perjorative label....I love women, and don't consider what they do "shit" - eapecially thier cognitive starategies and emotional make-up. It may occassionaly be disfunctional or counter productive to happieness and well being, but then men have disfunctional cognitive strategies and beliefs too.
Do you think you are perfectly rational?
Men have no intuition? Intuition should not be trusted? You never have "gut" feelings? You don't take them into consideration when making decisions?
I believe the human mind is like a monkey (conciousness) riding an elephant (the unconcious). If the elphant really wants to go somewhere, it's going, and the monkey is just along for the ride.
Look at the stock market - that's run by MEN. You think it's RATIONAL?
Football, mountain climbing, mixed martial arts.
What about MUSIC?...lol....
Men are just as emotional as women, we delude ourselves into thinking we are not. Denial of our emotional make-up is weakness. It is the source of much unhappieness and pain and disfunction.
Client:
....acting on feelings. most of mASF is based
on raw scientific research without judgment.
Me:
"raw scientific research"?
c'mon...what we do at best rises to level of amature social anthropology. There are no formal studies, no control groups, and no peer reviewed journals.
True scientists would laugh at our methods - what we do is guided much more by intuition, hunches, feeling, and sensing than by cold hard logic. It must be - human beings are fluid and unpredictable creatures.
Client:
it even follows the
scientific method in having an idea, putting together a procedure that
tests it, putting that procedure to action in the field, and
summarizing the results. after being tested successful several times
in the field by different dudes, it becomes theory. thats what dudes
come to mASF for. not ethics. .
Me:
Eventualy all social, medical, and even physical science must confront ethics.
Ever hear of the hypocratic oath? Why do doctors make a vow to "First, do no harm"?
It goes back 2500 years to the Greeks.
Client:
now you ask yourself, why do you need to be mr. ethics on the mASF
board? what are YOU trying to prove? have you slipped into defining
yourself as a pick-up GURU and now need your angle? are ethics REALLY
the only place you're able to bring something new to the community?
could it be theres a hole there because EVERYONE ELSE CHECKS THEIR
ETHICS AT THE DOOR as is stated in the rules?
Me:
What are rules? Who made them? Why were they made? Are we allowed to question rules?
The very lack of ethics in the community constitutes an ethic. I'm simply questioning the form the ethics of community take, and thier utility for promoting happiness.
What is your meta purpose in studying seduction?
The guys I coach think that "getting pussy" is going to solve all thier problems and make them happy. Guess what?
It wont, at least not in and of itself. They are deluded in the same way lottery winners think money will solve all thier problems. The truth is sobering - but it's where I start with my clients, because what I promote is well being - sex is a part of that, but it is not sufficient to create it.
Nothing external is.
The thing is, once you reach a state of inner well being, sex will happen naturally and organically for you. You will no longer need "game" or status or any other external trappings. This is what I mean by Acceptance - you must have self acceptance before you can offer acceptance to others. It's actually selfish in that sense in that it operateson the principal of reciprocal altruism.
Client:
you know what happens when you color everything with ethics? you
become like every other religious fool that becomes absolutely
impossible to discuss and debate with. try having a rational
discussion about pro-life/pro-choice with a religious person. you
can't. you go to science, they go to ethics (the bible), and the
debate can't even begin! guess what? that's YOU right now on masf!
Me:
What interests me as that none of the masterminds have a cogent response to the points I'm making about historic seducers - both positive ones like Gahndi, and negative ones like Manson.
What exactly is the difference between them? They all use the same tactics like hypnosis, frame control, and dominance to impose thier will on others - to get others to follow them and do thier bidding.
What is the difference
Think about it....
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