Acceptance

Acceptance
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Acceptance usually refers to cases where a person experiences a situation or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it, protest, or exit. The term is used in spirituality, in Eastern religious concepts such as Buddhist mindfulness, and in human psychology. Religions and psychological treatments often suggest the path of acceptance when a situation is both disliked and unchangeable, or when change may be possible only at great cost or risk. Acceptance may imply only a lack of outward, behavioral attempts at possible change, but the word is also used more specifically for a felt or hypothesized cognitive or emotional state. Thus someone may decide to take no action against a situation and yet be said to have not accepted it.


Types:

Acceptance typically contains the concept of approval, it is important to note that in the psychospiritual use of the term infers non-judgmental Acceptance is contrasted with resistance, but that term has strong political and psychoanalytic connotations not applicable in many contexts. By groups and by individuals, acceptance can be of various events and conditions in the world; individuals may also accept elements of their own thoughts, feelings, and personal histories. For example, psychotherapeutic treatment of a person with depression or anxiety could involve fostering acceptance either for whatever personal circumstances may give rise to those feelings or for the feelings themselves. (Psychotherapy could also involve lessening an individual's acceptance of various situations.)

Notions of acceptance are prominent in many faiths and meditation practices. For example, Buddhism's first noble truth, "All life is suffering", invites people to accept that suffering is a natural part of life. The term "Kabbalah" means literally acceptance. Minority groups in society often describe their goal as "acceptance", wherein the majority will not challenge the minority's full participation in society. A majority may be said (at best) to "tolerate" minorities when it confines their participation to certain aspects of society. Acceptance is the fifth stage of the Kübler-Ross model (commonly known as the "stages of dying").

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous describles the importance of acceptance in the treatment of alcoholism. It states that acceptance can be used to resolve situations where a person feels disturbed by a "person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- [which is] unacceptable to me". It claims that an alcoholic person cannot find serenity until that person accepts that "nothing happens in God's world by mistake" and that the condition of alcoholism must be accepted as a given.[1]

The realitionship between aggression, dominance, and penis size

I've been promoting the idea of interacting with others socially from an accepting, compassionate, empathetic standpoint for a couple of months now on

www.fastseduction.com

This has lead to a firestorm of controversy - especially from guys who advocate what's refer ed to as "Alpha Male" sexual selection theory.

This thoery states that "females only respond sexually to men who dominate social interactions with both other men (this is called "amogging" in the community - "Alpha Male, Other Guy") and with women.

They compare themselves to alpha male gorillas who fight off all the other males in a group, and build harems of female gorillas to breed with.

They have a point. We share around 96% of thier DNA structure as well as a common ancestor:

"Darwin wasn't just provocative in saying that we descend from the apes—he didn't go far enough," said Frans de Waal, a primate scientist at Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia. "We are apes in every way, from our long arms and tailless bodies to our habits and temperament."

They also say that men can build harems just like apes through dominant/agressive social behavior. So what are we to make of the fact that male gorillas have extremely small penises?

From Miller's "The Mating Mind"

"If we were a species in which males dominated the sexual system, we would have 1" penises like dominant gorillas" (Pg.236)

I therefore posit that human males who display excessive agressive or dominant behavior towards other males and females are endowed with very small penises.

Baddogs Law: There is an inverse/proportional relationship between social dominance and agression and penis size in human males.

The vairables can be defined thusly:

Let P= The product of penis lenth * girth

Let D= Agressive / Dominant behavior on the part of the human male on a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 representing no agressive or dominant tendencies, and 10 being perfectly dominant and agressive.

Then we can state the relationship mathmatically as:

P=1/D

The resulting number is what I'll call the XXX Factor. The smaller the number, the shorter and skinnier the penis.

As an example, Martin Luther King would have a social agression and domninance value of 1

So according to Baddog's law, MLK had an XXX factor of 1, or an absolutely gargantuan penis due to his gentle spirit....he could probably have had sex with women in other zip codes...

Similarly, A guy like Charlie Manson (he was quite a player!) would have an XXX factor of .1 - ten times smaller than a guy like say, Ghandi. Now, just like dominant male gorillas, our friend Charlie got lots of girls:



Note that both Manson and MLK were ladies men...

This law seems to be borne out by pornography - John Holmes and Ron Jeremy, both males with freakishly large penises, are both reputed to be / have been very gentle, friendly, accepting males. Hundreds of women attended John Holmes funeral.

Note that women consistently report that "size matters". Not only that, they are always looking for physical behavioral cues that indicate a man's penis size. Everything from shoe size to middle finger length are posited in popular culture as indicative of this important metric.

More research needs to be done on this important topic.

For instance, is the relationship direct as I have posited, or is it exponential, fibbonachian, Fractal, or regulated by some other proportional progression?

Can males increase penis size by decreasing dominant / agressive behavior?

Are there similar inverse relationships between penis size and the size of a man's car, or the loudness of his exhaust system? His car stereo? The size of his muscles?

The cost of his pinky ring?

(Grabs popcorn....)

Handling Social Rejection

This topic comes up a lot in the personal e-mails I recieve -

Guys ask, "how can avoid rejection" or "I'm afraid of rejection" It's one of the biggest fears guys have - "what if she doesn't like me?". The pressure is on males to approach and lead interactions, and this can lead to paralysing fear.

The solution to fear of rejection is simple - go out and get "rejected".

A lot.

It's no big deal. I got "rejected" by a woman today - I offered her one of my trademark smiley face stickers, and she rejected it - right in front of a good friend of mine.

He said "Dude - that was EMBARASSING ....."

I said, "Yea, I know...silly girl ... she must be having bad day - she could have gotten a SMILEY FACE STICKER from me!"

Who knows....maybe her pet Anaconda choked death on her pet Chihuawawa that morning, and they are both dead. Seriously....I've come across all sorts of crazy things. Dont take it personally.

Again....rejection is all about your belifes. I actually feel sorry for the women who don't want to engage me - they are truly missing out on some fun. For god's sake, I'm BADDOG! One of the most fun, interesting guys in the world! They blew a chance to have a life changing interaction with ME.

Some women simply don't qualify for your time and attention....don't get hurt or angry at this - accept it, then move on to another girl immediately, right in front of her if at all possible....

....That's detachment. It will work wonders for your mindset if you practice it consistently.

Your beliefs are what matter if you wish to lead social interactions.

October Seminar Location

Here is a map to the seminar:


View Larger Map

I've rented a nice conference room....it should be a lot of fun - hope to see you there..

=)

Ethics and Dating

The philosophy of Acceptance, Compassion, Empathy, and Detachment has been causing a lot of trouble on mASF, the worlds oldest "Seduction" website:

http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=86638&fid=173

Without ethics, we become psychopaths, and mASF just a training ground:

At the risk of being labled and "emo, fem, ivory tower, pious, intellectual" I'll cite mainstream psychology:

From http://www.minddisorders.com/Flu-Inv/Hare-Psychopathy-Checklist.html

The Hare PCL-R contains two parts, a semi-structured interview and a review of the subject's file records and history. During the evaluation, the clinician scores 20 items that measure central elements of the psychopathic character. The items cover the nature of the subject's interpersonal relationships; his or her affective or emotional involvement; responses to other people and to situations; evidence of social deviance; and lifestyle. The material thus covers two key aspects that help define the psychopath: selfish and unfeeling victimization of other people, and an unstable and antisocial lifestyle.

The twenty traits assessed by the PCL-R score are:

glib and superficial charm

grandiose (exaggeratedly high) estimation of self

need for stimulation

pathological lying

cunning and manipulativeness

lack of remorse or guilt

shallow affect(superficial emotional responsiveness)

callousness and lack of empathy

parasitic lifestyle

poor behavioral controls

sexual promiscuity

early behavior problems

lack of realistic long-term goals

impulsivity

irresponsibility

failure to accept responsibility for own actions

many short-term marital relationships

juvenile delinquency

revocation of conditional release

criminal versatility

The interview portion of the evaluation covers the subject's background, including such items as work and educational history; marital and family status; and criminal background. Because psychopaths lie frequently and easily, the information they provide must be confirmed by a review of the documents in the subject's case history.

Results
When properly completed by a qualified professional, the PCL-R provides a total score that indicates how closely the test subject matches the "perfect" score that a classic or prototypical psychopath would rate. Each of the twenty items is given a score of 0, 1, or 2 based on how well it applies to the subject being tested. A prototypical psychopath would receive a maximum score of 40, while someone with absolutely no psychopathic traits or tendencies would receive a score of zero. A score of 30 or above qualifies a person for a diagnosis of psychopathy. People with no criminal backgrounds normally score around 5. Many non-psychopathic criminal offenders score around 22.


Think about it..... I'd say about half of those traits are strongly associated with mainstream sedcution tactics, things like

"Glib superficial charm" (routines)

grandiose (exaggeratedly high) estimation of self (Alpha Male Theory)

need for stimulation (Self explanatory)

pathological lying (Fake DHV stories, Patterns, etc)

cunning and manipulativeness (See above)

shallow affect(superficial emotional responsiveness)

callousness and lack of empathy (My personal favorite)

parasitic lifestyle (Player Supreme's glorification of financial exploitation of women - leeching off of them, having them support you - basic pimp / MAC lifestyle)

sexual promiscuity (The community raises this to a virtue - it's not the quality, it the QUANTITY)

many short-term marital relationships (This one is borderline - many PUAs reject mariage entirely)

I think we can all agree that Hitler was a psycho. He had no empathy for others, no compassion, and no acceptance. He was a bad guy - an extreme example of what a lack of those things leads to. He seduced an entire nation.

The seduction community was founded by guys who were in my opinion either psychopathic or at least borderline psychopathic personalities. They were geniuses at observing social interactions, then bending those interactions to meet thier own selfish desires. The advent of the internet allowed them to engage in "parallel processing" Psychopaths linking together, testing and sharing ideas across the world.

Read "The Game" and you see two of them clash in real life....

There is valuable, powerful information in this community, but it needs to be tempered with the sort of values I'm talking about. Without them, we become monsters.

With them....well, let's just say I'm getting everything I ever imagined I could get from the women in my life, and more....

The thing is, I give back to them as much or more....

Lessons in Social Calibration

Me:



The Competition:



GUESS WHO WINS?

As some of you know, one of my hobbies is Autoracing. It's a great way to get an adrenaline rush, and also requires a mix of intuitive and intelectual skills to perfect.

In my first season racing, I was awarded "Rookie of the Year" by my local club - one of the most winning groups in the nation, with several legendary National Class Champions in it's ranks. I see a lot of paralells between developing my skills as an Amature racing champion and a guy who's skilled in the social arts. Both took time, hard work, comitment and discipline.

The lesson I'd like to draw today comes from the numerous posts on my racing discussion forum from new guys asking "what are the best tires for my car" or "what are the best brake pads" or exhaust system, or fuel injectors, shocks, etc, etc, etc....

This is similar to the question I get on the social sites and via e-mail about "what is the best method for meeting women?" and "what should I say to a woman when I first meet her?"

Well, as with racing equipment, the truth might surprize you.

The "best" tires are the ones that give the most feedback and grip. The best brake pads are the ones that are easiest to modulate at the limit without lock-up. But when you are starting out, none of that matters until you "fix the nut behind the wheel":

Guys will spend thousands, sometimes tens of thousands of dollars on high end sports cars and modifications, but NOTHING on real world practice and training. The only way to get good at autoracing is GO OUT AND RACE. Go to racing schools - and learn from guys that are at the top of thier game.

(You won't get good playing GT4 either...just like on-line dating is NOT true socializing)

I was like the others - I spent thousands on my car before taking a driving school. The modifications cut maybe 1 second from my lap times.

The school? 5 seconds, and it only cost me a couple of hundred dollars.

Likewise, if you can spend time with someone who is well calibrated socially, your improvement will be much more rapid than if you try to figure it out yourself. I used to let National Champions drive my car to see what it was capable of. After riding with them, my lap times would improve dramatically, because my self limiting beliefs would be challenged:

"I didn't know my car could do THAT!!!" I'd say, then promptly go out and match or even beat the times they had set.

So when socializing in mixed groups,It's important to calibrate to the people, the venue, and the particular circumstances you find yourself in - and not worry too much about the particular topic you introduce or method you employ.

...put another way, it's not what you say, it's HOW you say it. Pay attention to the feedback the people are giving you - the same way a racer adjusts to the particular car and race conditions.

The best guys adapt to changing conditions with ease, and are able to read situations quickly and intuitively - this is analgous to brake and throttle modulation in racing - you must develop a feel for the balance of the car and it's acceleration, weight transfer, and braking characterists if you ever hope to drive it quickly around a course.

(Yes - we race in the rain!)

To prove this to beginers when I teach auto racing, I'll often hop in thier cars, cars that they claim are "horrible" and turn in lap times 10 seconds faster than them in a sport where Championships are often decided by 1000ths of a second.

It's not the car that's the problem, its the driver.

Likewise, guys will complain to me in social settings that they are not rich, or good looking, are too old, or that there are too many guys in the venue for them to suceessfull socialize with the women there.

(Guess which car was faster in the rain - This 300hp Subaru WRX STI AWD):

.....Or my little 160 HP Honda Civic SI - FWD?

(I was faster this day...and I can prove it!)

Well, I'm 44, 5'9", balding, and have uneven front teeth from some bad bridgework. I'm not especially good looking:

So when I'm with a guy who is negative like this, I'll prove to him that the only thing that REALLY matters is your ATTITUDE in social settings. Mine is one of playfullness, openess, and accepatance of everyone. This sets the venue on fire, and as I ineract positively with people, my social proof grows, and soon, me and my group become the center of fun.

Below is another competitor who I used to beat on occassion - and he was a hair's breath away from a National Championship a few years back....

So stop worrying about finding that "one perfect routine". Just get out and start talking to people - men and women, and paying attention to how they react to you and the larger social setting. Focus on fun and leading the interaction with just a hint of sexual subtext, and you will have no trouble dating even the most beautiful women, no matter what you look like, how old you are, or what you own.

Oh, and just so you know, I regularly beat that red Camaro above in the local "Outlaw" class with my Civic SI. So don't ever think it's about your looks - it's about your SKILL.

Developing good social skills is like supercharging your car - you will SMOKE the so called competition when it comes to dating.

(...and Hawk HPS are my favorite autocross brake pads for the Honda Civic....)

=)

October Preliminary Seminar course outline

Here is my seminar course outline. Click in the upper right corner for a large view. Please feel free to share this file with anyone you think might benefit from it. Also, if you are planning on attending, post any suggestions as comments below.

Thanks!

Social Arts Lecture Outlines 001 - Upload a Document to Scribd